


Showers aren't the Only Things That are Hot and Wet

by icarusian



Category: Homestuck, MS Paint Adventures
Genre: Ablutophilia, M/M, Masturbation, One-Sided Relationship, Sexual Fantasy, Shower Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-22
Updated: 2015-12-22
Packaged: 2018-05-08 08:18:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5490209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icarusian/pseuds/icarusian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The shower is to you what a couch with the exact shape of his ass indented into it is to a middle-aged man.</p><p>You call it your ablution chamber for a reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Showers aren't the Only Things That are Hot and Wet

**Author's Note:**

> This wouldn’t have been possible without the lovely writing and editing help of tumblr user ticklishivories and the incredible amount of encouragement from tumblr user chibigaia. Kathy you're a great author and person, and I'm very thankful for your help. Gaia you're a nerd and I love you.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this short fic.

The shower is to you what a couch with the exact shape of his ass indented into it is to a middle-aged man.

Here, you are pure. You’ve committed no crimes when you step into the spray. The water douses your skin, washing you free of all sense of being.

Here, you are nothing. Here, you are just space wasted. The shower is like a Catholic confessional booth to you, a place where you are no longer riddled with the weight of living.

You call it your ablution chamber for a reason.

Your calloused feet press against the cool tile as you step into the tub and turn the handle past the point of scalding.

When you shower in outrageously hot temperatures, the constant sting and burn that almost paralyzes you gives a sense of atonement. The severity of your self-hatred lessens, almost completely vanishing as you wash yourself with your citrus body wash.

The water that drenches you for hours at a time makes you feel at peace because in that time, you have no obligations, no friends, no corporeal body. You’re not Dirk, not a man, you’re just nothing. You enjoy standing in a hot shower more than anything, and accept its embrace like a lover’s greeting.

For the most part, you feel like the hot spray dissolves your stressors, erases your mind, and shatters your being until you are merely a speck, existing with no true purpose than to stand in your shower and be.

Sometimes, you will stand under the spray and toy with anything that comes to mind, like a random formula or a reminder to upgrade your robot’s main circuitry. As you wash yourself, you notice your body in detail; the slight muscular tone you’ve acquired from ceaselessly working and swordfighting, the pale hairs that make up your pubes, a thing you attempt to keep shaven at all times, and the slight spatter of freckles that fleck your arms, chest, and shoulders.

But your mind can sometimes be a total asshole and refuse to let your shower be your lover of the evening, instead supplying you with plenty of images of a man holding you in a lover's embrace.

Sometimes, you replay a witty conversation you held with Jane, or consider a deep talk you had with Lalonde.

More often than not you think about Jake. You think about him doing and saying less than platonic things to you, fantasize about having him all over you, and daydream of getting on your knees in front of him. The shower is by far your favorite venue when it comes to sexual fantasies concerning your best friend, and you like to think it’s where you and he might one day enjoy your first sexual encounter.

You let your back rest against the cool wall and daydream about the way his body would feel pressing yours into the shower wall, hands on your hips, lips on your pulse, and hard cock slick against yours under the spray.

You let out a soft groan and grip your hardening cock, imagining it's his nervous palm rather than your own. You like to think Jake is just as talkative during sex as he is during a phone call or text conversation, so your imagination never ceases to supply you with phrases he would utter in the heat of the moment.

_ “Great googly moogly Dirk, is that a shampoo bottle between your legs or are you just happy to see me?”  _ Jake would ask as he'd bite back a smile. Your face breaks into a grin and you moan a little louder, jerking your hand faster.

_ “Is this okay?”  _ he would ask you, a little more hesitant, a little more timid. You think of kissing him languidly, savoring the feel of his overbite and chapped lips. You nod to no one and reach your unoccupied hand towards your ass, lightly running your fingertip over the rim of your hole before slowly sinking half of your index finger in. A few seconds later and you're thrusting it inside, eager to get off. It burns a little, but you've learned to ignore it and focus on the pleasure. You want Jake to do this to you, you want his long index finger preparing you for the stretch of his thick cock, and you desperately want Jake to fuck you in your shower.

You can just imagine the way Jake would look at you as he’d sink his cock inside you. You’d tangle a hand in his wet hair and hold him close to you, you would watch as he stretches you around him, and you’d moan into his ear how big he is. You want to think he might even comment on how good you feel around his thick cock, or how badly he wants to fuck you into the wall.

“Jake,  _ please _ , fuck me,” you beg, desperate to finish on the thought of him. In your head, you skip to the image of him inside of you, fucking you at a steady pace and kissing you breathless.

_ “Come for me, love,”  _ he would groan into your mouth.

You tug your dick twice more and push your thumb against the ridge under your tip before your orgasm leaves you panting and hot against the cold surface of your shower wall, finger still slowly pushing at your slick walls as you imagine Jake coming inside you. One moment at a time, you come to your senses and slip out your digit, thinking of what it would feel like to have Jake pull out after emptying himself in your body, and you shiver.You turn the faucet, chilling the water to a mild temperature. You rinse out your conditioner with a sour expression and try not to think about anything.

You fail and step out of the shower moments later, hoping that tomorrow night will be different so you don't have to remind yourself of the man that doesn't love you. 

**Author's Note:**

> I am taking requests at doki-dirky.tumblr.com
> 
> Criticism and comments appreciated!


End file.
